Life Sucks
by Bethsquirt
Summary: In the aftermath of Cutter's death, Connor and Abby deal with their grief. One shot.


**Disclaimer:** I sadly do not own Primeval. *sadface*

**A/N: **Been very busy recently, too much school work! This story was inspired by Mika's song: "Blame it on the girls" If you haven't listened to it, go ahead and do it now. It's great. I'm sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy.

Life Sucks:

Connor was sat at the dingy bar in his local pub and staring into his scotch filled glass as if it were going to solve all of his problems. His drink burnt his throat as it went down and it didn't help dim the painful memories of earlier as he had hoped it would. In fact it was only his first glass and all it had done was cause him a headache and made his stomach roll. The lighting was low and the pub only contained a few stragglers, meeting up in groups before obviously heading off somewhere better for the rest of their night. Connor didn't have anywhere better to go. It was either here or home. He couldn't even go back to the ARC anymore, not since the majority of it had been left as a charred mess. Only four mere hours had passed since Connor had carried the body of his mentor, Professor Cutter, from the burning building. Connor took another swig of the cool liquid as he tried to block the painful memories again. Nick had been one of the very few people he trusted with everything and now he was gone. He had been his much needed father figure and in the 3 short years he had known him he had made him feel like he could actually accomplish something. That he wasn't just a geeky student who talked nonsense.

The team had stood by his motionless body outside of the burning wreck of the ARC until the ambulance came and covered his body, taking it into the back of the vehicle and leaving everybody in its wake, shell-shocked and tear stained. Everybody had made their own way home eventually; Lester almost had to drag Jenny away from the floor where Nick had previously laid. Abby had pulled away from Connor and wiped the tears from her eyes to drive them both home in a stony silence, filled with sniffles and worried glances to each other through saddened eyes. Once home Abby shuffled around the shared apartment, feeding the animals and not uttering a word. Connor had stood uneasy on his feet in the middle of the apartment staring at the floor and wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. If he had been a few seconds maybe he would have got to Helen. He might have stopped her. He might have saved Cutter. He dragged in a shuddering breath and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He heard the rushing of water in the bathroom and then Abby's quiet padded footsteps.

"Conn?" Her small voice seemed to echo around the eery quietness of the apartment. He looked up and saw the tears in her eyes, the redness surrounding them and the dirt on her face and clothes, from the burning building. Seeing her distraught face and the uncertain questions behind her normally sparkling blue eyes he shivered. She looked so vulnerable and sad and he wanted to do nothing but fold her into his arms and cry with her, but he wouldn't allow himself to do it. Instead he turned around, picked the car keys up from the table and grabbed his coat.

"I'm goin' out." He mumbled. She bowed her head silently before turning around to see to her bath. He sighed rubbing his eyes and slamming the door behind him. He knew Abby. He knew she had ways of dealing with her frustration and anger and sadness. Normally a steaming hot bath or a pounding for her punching bag would do. Connor could feel his anger in a tight knot in his stomach and he didn't know how to deal with it. He thought the alcohol would help but he was sadly mistaken and now he was sat at the bar on his own still grieving silently. He'd always known how dangerous their job was but he'd never expected any of them to actually die from it. Stephen's death had shaken them all and now Cutter was gone too. Murdered by his own wife. He took another long swig of his drink and sighed deeply and miserably as another man came and sat on the bar stool next to him.

The man looked young, 25 at the oldest. He was wearing a smart grey suit, the top button of his shirt undone and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. He asked the bartender for one of the more expensive drinks and then placed his head into his hands. Connor eyed him suspiciously before returning his gaze into his glass.

"Life sucks." The man stated simply as he received his drink and downed half of it. Connor grumbled his agreement. The young man was staring at him now as he drank. Connor met his steely gaze.

"What's up with you?" Connor asked him. The man sighed again, almost overdramatically. Connor raised his eyebrow.

"Dad's took early retirement, jetting off to Australia tomorrow. Left all the business to me. Full income not half anymore. Kid's just started school and girlfriends just told me she's pregnant too." The young man rolled off the list of things and then downed the other half of his drink. Connor stared wide eyed into the bottom of his glass, swirling the remaining dregs around the bottom. How was any of that bad? He voiced his thoughts.

"It's bad 'cause now I won't be able to play golf with the lads."

"That's why your life 'sucks'?" Connor asked in bewilderment.

"Course it is. Now it's all about the bloody baby."

"Well if that's how you feel, I don't think you should even be having one child. Never mind two. And I think you need to get perspective on 'life sucks.'" He grumbled angrily, standing up from the stool and walking out into the cold air. That stupid kid thinking his life was all terrible and Connor was disgusted. Some people would kill to have a life like his. Connor clenched his fist and sighed deeply. He didn't have the time or patience to talk to people like him. Cutter had just died and he'd passed the baton onto him. All of the research and work that the ARC had ever worked on and would ever work on in the future was down to him now. It was all on his shoulders. And he didn't know if he could quite handle that yet. He wiped at his eyes angrily, he hadn't realised how much that one man had infuriated him so much with talking about how 'bad' his life was. He got into the car and started the engine, he'd only had one scotch, and he'd be fine to drive. Abby's apartment was close by anyway, he'd be fine getting home, and he took a deep calming breath and drove.

_x_X_x_

Connor pulled up outside Abby's apartment ten minutes later. The skies had opened during his drive and the rain that poured from the darkness hit the ground noisily. He ran to the door and fumbled with the lock before getting into the house as dry as he could manage. Slamming the door behind him and taking his boots and coat off he made his way up the stairs slowly, hearing Abby pottering about in the kitchen. He slumped himself down onto the sofa and ran his hands over his face again. He couldn't find any words to explain how terrible he felt at this moment in time. Suddenly a loud crash and a yelp sounded from the kitchen and Connor was up like a shot. He ran to the doorway of the kitchen, peering around the doorframe and seeing Abby stood by the sink. She had changed into her sleep shorts after her bath and a small vest top. She was wearing her fuzzy slipper socks, one pooled around her ankle and the other pulled halfway up her calf. In any other situation Connor would think she looked adorable, but right now she was stood in the cold kitchen surrounded by broken glass and spilt water, shaking violently. He scanned the floor around her feet and then looked up to meet her eyes. They were wide in shock, tears brimming in them and her bottom lip was quivering. They stayed still and silent for a few moments until Abby let out a shaky sob and Connor was spurred into action. He made his way to her, stopping in front of the broken shards of glass that were scattered over the cold laminate flooring. He held out his hand to her as she cried and shook.

"Abs, come on, hold onto me and I'll get you out." He said gently as she looked up at him, her tears falling down her pale cheeks. She reached out and grasped his hand and Connor was able to help her move and then pick her up and move her out of the way of the broken glass. The last person he had carried was Cutter's dead body. Abby was lighter and shaking as she sobbed. When he placed her down onto the floor again she looked up at his face.

"He's gone Connor! He can't be gone!" She sobbed to him and he felt his own tears returning. Connor acted on instinct as he pulled the shaking Abby into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head as Abby's arms wrapped around his waist. He knew everyone had been badly affected by the death of their mentor but he hadn't realised it had affected Abby so much. She had such a brave and strong façade that everyone overlooked how small and vulnerable she really could be. Connor held her until she had stopped shaking and both of their tears had dried up again. He whispered words of comfort and placed feather light kisses on top of her head as she calmed herself down. Abby pulled away from Connor slowly, clinging tightly to his forearms and looking up at him through watery eyes. Connor suddenly found that he couldn't stop himself and before he knew it his lips were on hers and they were kissing, just as he had always dreamt of. He pulled back as quickly as he had leaned in, shocked at his own behaviour and waiting for the onslaught of abuse he would likely get, they were just friends, nothing more and he'd just crossed the line that was definitely there. When it didn't come he was confused, and when she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to his, he was even more confused.

Her lips were soft against his and he succumbed, pouring every ounce of emotion he had left in his drained body into kissing Abby. Her tongue traced a line across his bottom lip and he opened his mouth, allowing her entry as his tongue curled with hers. Her hands left his arms and twisted into his dark, wet hair as his own arms tightened around her waist, pressing her body flush against his. Their passions arose quickly, hands caressing curves and lips, teeth and tongues fighting for dominance. All logical thoughts disappeared from Connor when Abby let out a breathy moan, flinging her head backwards and exposing her neck, and he didn't hesitate to lick and kiss his way down her soft skin. It was him. He was making her make that noise. He didn't feel afraid anymore, afraid of overstepping the boundary, afraid of losing their friendship if he did anything wrong. Right now he was running on pure adrenaline and instinct as he scooped her into his arms and carried her out of the living room.

_x_X_x_

Connor awoke in the morning with a headache. A splitting headache that wasn't being helped by the sun that was streaming in through the crack in the curtain. He groaned and tried to cover his eyes but found he couldn't move his hand. It all came flooding back. Abby was curled into his side, her leg entwined with his, her arm across his hip and her head on the bed, touching his chest. She was fast asleep; her hair fussed and small smudges of un-wiped make-up lay under her closed eyes. Connor's own eyes went wide. Last night had been the most amazing, spectacular, greatest thing in his entire life, even if the day itself had been tainted with broken hearts and a bone deep sadness. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, seemingly hitting against his ribcage so hard he felt that Abby may have woken from it. What if she thought it was a mistake? A spur of the moment thing? Everything would be ruined, their entire friendship gone. He shouldn't have let his emotions cloud his judgement like he had done. What was he thinking? He could feel the tears springing into his eyes but blinked them away furiously as he felt Abby stirring next to him.

When Abby awoke she felt warm, safe and a little sore, but pleasantly so. Her head was pillowed against Connor's chest and her body was wrapped with his. She looked up to meet his eyes and could see the worry evident on his face.

"Hi" She whispered as she moved herself so she her head was in line with his. He swallowed hard before answering.

"Abby?" He questioned slowly and unsurely. She could see the question he wanted to ask so badly, but knew he wouldn't speak it, afraid of the answer. She didn't know how she could reassure him in any other way so she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his softly. He let out a moan and she smiled against his lips. She pulled back and smiled shyly at him as his hand came to cup the side of her face.

"How you feelin'?" He asked her as his thumb stroked her cheek gently.

"Absolutely fine…" She whispered quietly, leaning into his caress. He smiled weakly.

"About last night..." He stated after a few minutes of silence.

"What Connor?"

"Do you… do you regret it?" He asked, his eyes filling with the same dread and worry again. She brought her hand up to rest on top of his and took a deep breath, smiling lightly as she whispered,

"No. No regrets."

The smile that appeared on his face was the best thing Abby had ever seen.

**The End. **


End file.
